More self-care, less control: rediscover your relationship with food

On our journey towards greater wellbeing, it’s easy to fall into the trap of constant striving – for the perfect body, the perfect meal plan, the perfect routine. But true wellbeing doesn’t start on the outside. It begins with the most important relationship of all – the one we have with ourselves.

At Ancient + Brave, we believe that it’s not only what we eat that matters, but how we eat. In a world where diet culture is deeply ingrained in everyday life, many of us carry beliefs and behaviours that seem ‘normal’ – yet are shaped by restriction, guilt, and control. These patterns can disconnect us from our bodies, our hunger cues, and the joy of eating.

This journal invites you to pause and reflect. Your relationship with food mirrors your relationship with yourself. Are your choices rooted in self-care – or in self-criticism? Do your wellness goals truly support your wellbeing – or are they quietly chasing unrealistic ideals?

Let’s rethink nourishment – not as a measure of discipline, but as a personal act of care. Not as a path to perfection, but as a way to connect, ground ourselves, and honour our bodies.

With gentle awareness and evidence-informed guidance, we explore how to step away from perfectionism and towards a more intuitive, supportive relationship with food. Because when we lead with compassion rather than control, we open the door to holistic, lasting wellbeing.

Step 1: Spotting diet culture in everyday life

How it shows up:

• Labelling food as “good” or “bad”

• Feeling guilty after eating

• Assuming being thinner automatically means being healthier

• Tying your self-worth to what you eat

Reflection:

• When did you notice diet culture in your thoughts today?

• Where do these beliefs come from (media, upbringing, social circles)?

Try this:

• Label those thoughts consciously as “diet culture” – rather than accepting them as truth.

• Meet them with curiosity, not judgement.

Step 2: Reframing thoughts about food

Our inner dialogue shapes how we think about food – and about ourselves. Here are some new ways of seeing things:

Reflection:

• Which thought comes up for you most often?

• How does it feel to consciously reframe it?

Try this:

• Choose one of these new perspectives and practise it for a week. Note what shifts for you.

Step 3: Self-care over perfection

The Ancient + Brave way of life encourages mindful, intentional choices that support your long-term wellbeing. We invite you to:

Listen, rather than control:

• Eat when you’re hungry – not just when it’s “time” to eat.

• Rest when you’re tired – not just when you’ve “earned” it.

Reflection:

• What does self-care mean to you – beyond food and movement?

• Where are you still striving to be perfect instead of present?

Try this:

• Create a small ritual of care: a mindful moment with your matcha, a walk without your phone, or a quiet breakfast just for you.

Step 4: Building a supportive relationship with food

Principles to take with you:

• Food is neither a reward nor a punishment

• Your worth isn’t defined by what you eat

• You don’t have to “earn” your food

• You can trust your body

Reflection:

• What would a supportive relationship with food feel like for you?

Try this:

• Write a letter to your body and thank it for all it does for you each day.

• Choose three words to guide your wellness journey this month (e.g. ease, presence, respect).

Remember: it’s not about doing it perfectly – it’s about doing it kindly. That’s the Ancient + Brave way.